skankymonkey

I just wanted to share a sweet little tale with you.

So it's Saturday night, the annual White Party at VelvetNation in DC (huge club). My friend Sean and I get decked out, drink half a bottle of Bacardi and meet up with everyone else to cab over to the club. We are all dancing and having a good time... but, then:

*Some asshole who shall remain unnamed (very D list as far as gay social circles go) made a VERY rude comment to me.
*I am perplexed for a moment, since I have always tried to be nice to this kid because I feel bad for him. I then go tell my friends Sean and Bill what happened. We all get really pissed. I decide I need to bitch him out... at least mildly. I walk back over, with Sean and Bill in formation behind me. Here is what happens (it's so Mean Girls):

1. I walk up to the kid (wearing Sean's military dogtags, looking hot as hell, and feeling so badass), tell him off, turn around and leave. *Regina, Mean Girls
2. Sean walks up right after me, gets a dirty look from this POS. Knees him in the balls. Grabs his shoulder, throws an amazing right hook to his jaw, turns and leaves. *Gretchen, Mean Girls
3. Bill comes up, gives a smirk to the poor fuck on the floor, turns and leaves. *Karen, Mean Girls


Such an amazing send-off as I prepare to leave for abroad. I am seriously going to miss everyone. I have found such an amazingly fun and loyal group of gay friends (not as easy as it sounds!). All smart, driven, (hot of course!), and sweet.

I love my friends. Don't mess with us ;-)

I realized tonight that the number one trait necessary in a person for me to like them is being genuine.

Interesting realization. People often consider me to be much more shallow than that and I think I had started to believe it.

Good know thats not totally the case I guess.

March of the Penguins!!!

Such a great documentary film that you all must see. You will be so glad you did :)

Plus... Morgan Freeman does the naration and he is the voice of all things good.

So yea... I definitely just borrowed my friend's strip work-out video. Tonight was the second night I did it and I loooove it so much! The cute blonde at the front is the one who leads the video and she is British! She always goes "thats a way!" in the middle of each move. God I love it so much! So hot right now.

THis is a preview of my workout video:

They roughed up Condi!!!



Oh no they didn't. Y'all listen here. Condi was just roughed up by the Sudanese government when the Sec. of State led a US delegation to that country earlier this week.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/africa/07/21/rice.tussle/index.html

Reporters were man-handled, State Department officials were shoved, and Condi says she is "very angry".

O...M...G. We need to take those Sudanese bitches down. Who's with me!?

So as I was watching the last few episodes of Sex and the City it occurred to me why I only like LA, and don't love LA. While this city is so much fun, I don't ever feel the energy. I don't feel life here. This feeling is such a stark contrast to New York and even DC. In those cities, for better or worse, you feel something. It is real, and brutally honest.

I need to not just live my life, but feel it as well. It will not always be pleasant, but at least it will be true.

Just a thought. Other than that, I am having a blast out here and have met some amazing friends. Everyone has been so friendly thus far (whether it is because they truly want to be friends or because they want to sleep with me, remains to be seen). I am really excited for what the final month will bring now that I have met a core group of amazing people. Coincidentally, most of them are from the east coast (DC).

Despite my disdain for east coast weather, I love it. I love the people, I love the energy, I love the coast, and god damn it... I LOVE DC!


K... back to LA life :) later kids

I just came across Sandra Day O'Connor's resignation letter on CNN.com. It is short, sweet, and to the point. Whether you agree with her politics or not, you can't deny that she is a class act.
-------------------

Dear President Bush:

This is to inform you of my decision to retire from my position as Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, effective upon the nomination and confirmation of my successor.

It has been a great privilege, indeed, to have served as a member of the Court for 24 terms.

I will leave it with enormous respect for the integrity of the Court and its role under our constitutional structure.

Sincerely,

Sandra Day O'Connor

-------------------



In 1952 O'Connor was forced to accept a secretarial position at a law firm after finishing 3rd in her class at Stanford Law because it was the only place that would hire a woman. Her eventual rise through the glass ceiling of our nation's legal system to become Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, shows the mark of true greatness. She never sought fame or glory, though she has certainly earned the respect of a nation as her self-reliant ambition has changed the very fabric of the United States. Today she is consistantly ranked among the greatest and most influential women, not only in the US, but in the world.

I hope President Bush can find someone even half as great to replace her.

The following is a very strong and moving letter written by the mother of a gay boy in Vermont...

http://www.vermontcivilunion.com/advice/0600.html

"Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people. I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.

My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.

He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters."

You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.

He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities
that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance.

How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin.

The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?"

Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
(x) smoked anything else (houkah?)
( ) crashed a friend's car
(/) been in love

(/) been dumped (still dont really know who dumped who!)
(x) shoplifted
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house :)
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back

( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger (the vodka made me do it!)
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher/boss

(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
(x) had/have a crush on one of your Livejournal friends
( ) been to Canada

( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
(xxxxx) eaten sushi (almost every day!)
(x) been snowboarding

( ) gotten with someone BECAUSE of Livejournal
( ) been moshing at a concert
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers (not recreationally!)
(x) love someone right now (muah, you all know who you are)

(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle

( ) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game

(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake

(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(xxx) been misunderstood (there are a select few who truly know me... and I feel sorry for them everyday. haha)

(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) been suspended from school
(x) had detention (for talking in the library. the campus police laughed and let me go after 2 minutes)
(x) been in a car accident (not with other cars though! that damn curb)

(x) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look

(x) witnessed a crime (my coworker was just given a ticket for J-walking while going to 7-11 across the tiny, desolate street in front of our office)
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud (ewww)

(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
(x) swam in the ocean
( ) felt like dying

(/) cried yourself to sleep (if i could cry, there have been nights that I would have!)
(x) played cops and robbers (its a boy thing... dont hate!)
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(X) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) kissed in the rain

(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach

( ) crashed a party
(x) traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people (family road trips suck!)
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey (hahahaha, i wish!)

( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
(/)screamed penis during class/work (nope... but i definitely called lindsay lohan a SLUT... the whole office went silent!)
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them

(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
(/) had sex in a park (not quite!)
(x) had sex in the bathroom (well... sexual activities in the shower!)
(x) had a dream that you married someone

( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
(/) worn the opposite sex's clothes (i am sure there was a childhood drag queen phase that i am conveniently forgetting)
( ) been a cheerleader/pommer

(x) sat on a roof top (the FSK roof while looking at the white house and washington monument... loves it!)
( ) had sex at a church (GAY SEX AT CHURCH WOULD MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE!)
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours

(x) stayed up all night
(x) didn't take a shower for a week (like 5 days while at camp)
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house

(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone (would rather be cuddling with a cute boy)
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school/work (in retrospect)
( ) gone streaking

(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken fight
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone my skull?

(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish (i HATE fishing!)
( ) made porn (sooo a new goal!)
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried

( ) cried so hard you laughed more often that normal probably
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(xxxx) forgotten someone's name (god i suck!)

(xxxx) slept naked (is there any other way!?)
( ) French braided someone's hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
( ) were amazed you actually filled this out

I almost died when I read this. Sooooo funny! I found it on HuffingtonPost.com. An online blog by political pundit Arriana Huffington. Enjoy y'all!!

HP EXCLUSIVE: An Intercepted IM Conversation Between Bush and Blair

Kickass43: hey!

Sxybritguy10: hey

Kickass43: sup?

Sxybritguy10: nm u

Kickass43: jc. Iraq not good

Kickass43: polls not good

Kickass43: mjr babe issues

Sxybritguy10: laura?????? :-O

Kickass43: rofl no! American chicks. Dont like me anymore.

Sxbritguy10: security mums?

Kickass43: gone

Sxybritguy10: ttly?

Kickass43: ttly. not like when we were young right? Mom AWOL=good party. Today: moms AWOL=bad for party.

Sxybritguy10: :(

Kickass43: they say they dont care about security issues. like NOW they feel safe. who made them feel safe? not Kerry. kerry is an uber douche. I’m way hotter than he is man.

Sxybritguy10: You were so the better candidate

Kickass43: yeah I know. they re-elect me then they ditch me

Sxybritguy10: sux

Kickass43: wat up wit u?

Sxybritguy10: k with chicks. rock stars help. :)

Kickass43: don’t have em. xcept gene simmons. chicks dont like him. got toby keith. he rocks with reel guys. and soldiers.

Sxybritguy10: touché. need sum of dat. guys think Im gay.

Kickass43: LOL. its ur accent…

Sxybritguy10: duh. everyone speaks like that over here. and in my campaign the press got a pic of me in my speedo.

Kickass43: that sux man, its like whoa. my campaign tends to b more negative. tho rite now I NEED people to think Im gay.

Sxybritguy10: guys think its poncy to care bout africa aids global warming. they dont like that sh**

Kickass43: poncy???

Sxybritguy10: gay

Kickass43: cool. as in poncy marriage? poncy rights? I like this. poncy poncy poncy!

Sxybritguy10: :rolls eyes: dont try it

Kickass43: y r u so good with ladies?

Sxybritguy10: they think i care

Kickass43: like i dont

Sxybritguy10: they think u dont care bout wat they care bout

Kickass43: like wat

Sxybritguy10: education healthcare sos

Kickass43: thats ttl sh**

Sxybritguy10: mayb but thats wat they think. u scare them

Kickass43: they like laura

Sxybritguy10: use her more

Kickass43: duh

Sxybritguy10: so how can i get guys 2 like me?

Kickass43: lose the accent

Sxybritguy10: seriously

Kickass43: hang with me at the prom

Sxybritguy10: u mean at gleneagle? the G8????

Kickass43: lets go shoot whatever u shoot there. foxes right? u guys r sick bastards. u cant even eat fox

Sxybritguy10: foxes r illegal now. its grouse

Kickass43: k. whatever. and make fun of the french guys. what ttl losers. They r so lame. They r like—wat wuz that word

Sxybritguy10: try poncy

Kickass43: they carry handbags. end of story.

Kickass43: so wanna chill at G8?

Sxybritguy10: er gotta hang with geldof.

Kickass43: ?

Sxybritguy10: rock star africa aids global warming sos

Kickass43: do girls like him?

Sxybritguy10: sort of

Kickass43: so lets hang 2gether bud!

Sxybritguy10: g2g

Kickass43: hey

Kickass43: hey

Kickass43: hey

Kickass43: u there???? hello? thats it. we’re nukeing you…

Kickass43: jk, ilu buddy. u do kno that right?

--with thanks to Mandy Frum, my in-house IM linguist :)

Bush/Blair IM

God I am soooo hot :-P
I <3 Gretchen!


Gretchen Weiner


Which Mean Girl are you?
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That's right bitches. I am Gretchen and I kiss like its my job! Lovin it :)

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

A friend used this term when talking to me today... "proverbial sword of damocles." My immediate reaction was to spit in his face for using complex metaphors with me, but then i looked it up and discovered how interesting it was! Observe:

Damocles was a member of the court of Dionysius I and commented on Dionysius’ good fortune to have the life of luxury. Dionysius invited him to a splendid dinner, and seated him on his own throne. Above the head of Damocles, suspended from a single horsehair, was a large naked sword. It was a way of illustrating that the life of luxury came with the cost of insecurity.

The expression "Sword of Damocles" has become proverbial with the dangers of inherant with each advantage of importance.


Isn't that craaazy cool y'all!? Loves it :)

May I present to you... my commute.
Driving to work is craaazy in the morning and it takes me 30 minutes to drive less than 10 miles. blaaaah! Luckily I have discovered the musical masterpiece that is "Hate It or Love It" by the Game and 50 Cent. I just rolled down my windows and rocked my ghetto ass down through traffic :)




I move out of the Hilton and into my new place tomorrow! I am soooo excited. They are delivering furniture at 9am and cable comes at 2. woo woo!!!

I start my first day of work in Los Angeles tomorrow! I am really nervous/excited :) For those of you who don't know, I will be working for my dad's company which does payroll, casting, software, budgeting and a bunch of other services for the entertainment industry. I will be working in the marketing strategies department which will be awesome since the company's clients are big names like Disney (ABC), Warner Brothers, Paramount, Fox, NBC, Viacom (CBS)... basically all of the movie and television companies. SO exciting!



Last night I went out in West Hollywood for the first time. Quite an experience. There were like 10,000 gay guys all within a 10 block radius. Definitely quantity over quality though. The more I experience the whole "gay culture," the more i am disappointed with it. I will post more about this later.

I hope everyone is having an awesome summer so far! I will let you all know how work goes tomorrow :)

I am marking my triumphant return to LJ with a little commentary on the morning news wars.

Point 1: Katie Couric needs to fall of a bridge



Finally America is realizing that Katie Couric is sooo far from a journalist it is laughable. Couric is merely a fluffy entertainment reporter who brings shame to real journalists everywhere. She hasn't asked a hardball question in her life and is better suited for hosting entertainment tonight than having the awesome task of delivering the nations news to millions of faithful viewers every morning. Couric is an example of sensationalist journalism run amuck and her 4.5 year, $60 million contract just proves that she has traded her integrity as a journalist for a shot at celebrity status. NBC News needs to wake up and smell the shameful coffee "Today" is currently brewing. Dropping Couric in exchange for a woman who is less obnoxious, more credible, and unafraid to show her intelligence, would re-invigorate the ailing morning news program.

Point 2: Diane Sawyer is superb



Diane Sawyer is everything a morning newswoman should be. The New York Times said it best in an editorial this week:

"Ms. Sawyer's appeal on "Good Morning America" is not that she is new and exciting, but that she is a consistently smooth, even restful, presence. Her golden good looks never change, and she handles interviews and chatter with her genial co-host Charles Gibson with a poised, creamy sincerity that never varies or falters."
- New York Times Op. Ed.

Katie Couric... take note. Diane Sawyer has all the class, integrity and intelligence to command viewers attention, and balances those journalistic qualities perfectly with her smooth, soft and unitrusive presence to create the perfect brew America looks for in the morning.

I registered for classes.. yay! Here is what I am taking:

Spanish I
Statistics (intro)
Chemistry for dummies
Media Law
Mass Movements and Global Terrorism

So here is the thing guys. The last class, the terrorism one, involves reading a book a week, writing a one page paper on each book, writing a 5 page paper, and writing two 20 page papers. Hmm... I don't know if I want to deal with that bullshit! My alternative is "Issues and Innovation in American Education" which may sound incredibly boring to most of you but it actually interests me a bit. SO should I switch classes or just suck it up and do a TON of work next semester?

P.S. Neither classes are required for my major, and neither fulfill any requirements.

You Are a "Don't Tread On Me" Libertarian

You distrust the government, are fiercely independent, and don't belong in either party. Religion and politics should never mix, in your opinion... and you feel opressed by both. You don't want the government to cramp your self made style. Or anyone else's for that matter. You're proud to say that you're pro-choice on absolutely everything!

This is the grossest picture ever! ewwww.

Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
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Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't posted in forever :-P. I miss all of you in vegas like whoa... shout out to AnF 412! Anyway, I had to do another post because this is just insane.

So Nate (friend from Vegas) calls me yesterday freaking out. He had noticed someone walking with a GW bag. From pictures I had shown him, he quickly realized who it was. Who else did he see but MR. BIG, in Las Vegas, on the Strip. WTF!? Nate said he was gonna go beat his ass but he was with friends so he couldn't. What the hell is Jason doing in MY city!? So I asked one of his friends, and apparently he went there with his parents for the weekend. I just think it is sooo funny that one of my friends saw him and was like... oh no he didn't. Of all the freakin places in the United States...

Laura's response: If he stays at the Bellagio and touches our fountains, I can't handle it! I will kick his ass!


GET OUT OF MY TOWN